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what should one do , when things get pretty awkward, when u dun really know tht any word droping out of your mouth is going to make a whole issue for you ,and especially with ppl u think u are pretty frank,
out of all this awkwardness I am getting one more reason to hate someone tht i really felt comfortable with, this world is very weird, or may be its just me that i am unable to keep my pace with it.
I was with strangers
strangers so many
but two on my right , were the strangers tht made me write
I could not have been more
more stupid than what i looked
but more than that
the sadness that i felt
while being there on their side
sadness
tht left me wondering
I wish i was strong
I wish i was not so lone….
things are changing pretty fast out here, from class to social interaction to finding the right mix of friends, every thing is so slopy , situations change with every passing second, and i am having problems catching up with all this fast paced stuff, i am not even sure if ppl who hang around with me one week would consider me a friend next week , its so dodgy , i feel so out of place over here,
i am so desperate to get some clarity in my surroundings, i am so dying to settle down but tht doesn’t seem to be happening in near future
once there lived a young man in a distant land, far far away …he grew up in the midst of a scenic village, played with gorgeous fairies in childhood , was taken care of by the rich and poor of the village…when he grew into a young man one day he asked his father for permission to explore the land behind the mountains, to advance his knowledge , and bring back skills to his far far away land from the kingdom behind the mountains…as his father permitted the young man collected his books given to him by his teacher in the village, prepared a horse….and left at early dawn, galloping on the muddy track towards the east, where the sun was still hidden behind the blanket of horizon ….
Cutting the story short, the young man met a beutiful girl in the town on the foot of mountains, the girl was so beautiful and more than that her intellegince had left the young man bedazzled, the man inadvertantly fell in love with the beautiful girl , They first became very close friends , friends so close that people in the town started talking about them , story of their affair was on everyone’s lips , and deep inside his heart he wished it was true…….when the time of his departure came , he realised how much he loved the girl…..and he fell for stupidity of love, after leaving the town he went back and told the beautiful girl about his feelings……….he who was so close to girl all of sudden became a stranger……..he never reaslied that he was not entitled to like her becuase he was the ” BEST FRIEND”………
(to be continued)
just a point the previous post was not related to me, the inspiration came from some one else’s situation 
Crying aloud, and yet being silent…..she is no listening, bt she no deaf
She no child, and yet she not understanding…..she waiting for what, me giving life
The world knows it all, bt she so ignorant…..though she is smart,so mindfull of her surroundings
And yet she is oblivious, ……not listening to cries, not listening to the words
سنو اچھا نہیں لگتا
کرے جب تذکرہ کوئی
کرے جب تبصرہ کوئی
تمھاری ذات کو کھوجے
تمھاری بات کو سوچے
مجھے اچھا نہیں لگتا
سنو اچھا نہیں لگتا
تمھاری مسکراہٹ پر
ہزاروں لوگ مرتے ہوں
تمھاری ایک آہٹ پر
ہزاروں دل دھڑکتے ہوں
کسی کا تم پہ یوں مرنا
مجھے اچھا نہیں لگتا
سنو اچھا نہیں لگتا
ہوا گزرے تمھیں چھو کر
نہ ہوگا ضبط یہ مجھ سے
کرے کوئی تم سے گستاخی
تیری زلفیں بکھر جائیں
تمھارا لمس پی جائیں
مجھے اچھا نہیں لگتا
سنو اچھا نہیں لگتا
کہ تم کو پھول بھی دیکھیں
تمھارے پاس سے مہکیں
یا چندا کی گزارش ہو
کہ اپنی روشنی بخشو
رُخِ جاناں کوئی دیکھے
مجھے اچھا نہیں لگتا۔۔۔
so first week of ramdan is over, and thank GOd finally i am having sehris, though missed a few in the beginning. and better yet i have found a group of friends on whom i can rely on (hope fully), though we have not been doing many things, we just walk and talk but its nice, and above all i have some on to talk in pashtu
lets not write about it
its beautiful over here, the buildings, the roads, the parks..the riverside….and its nice to walk in the evening with partially cloudy , nice breeze .. with sound of music being played at the corner of a park ….every one would love to live in this place and enjoy life while walking through roads which have touched numerous great scholars, philosophers, sceintists…but despite all this i am unable to enjoy it ,despite knowing tht these are the things tht i always loved i am not associating myself to them , there seems to be somthing missing and i think i know wat is missing , and thts worrying me , why have i become so weak , why can’t i just enjoy what ever i have and not long for more , but i guess i am just another human , and rather a weak one………
